Experiencing The Divine is not Insanity

Modern or western medical science do not have answers for certain phenomena to the human mind and intellect. It is imperative to write about my experience and how I was being misunderstood constantly and being taken to the hospital for treatment because according to my parents I wasn’t “normal”.

Of course the idea of special-apparently paranormal-mental abilities such as “psychic powers or extrasensory perception” (ESP) has baffled people for centuries. Out of body experiences or claims made by people possessing variegated psychic powers, including telekinesis (or psychokinesis- the ability to move objects through mind) has always intrigued me.

The nature of such phenomenon depends on perspective. Let me recount my encounter with the divine, the surreal, the all-pervasive primordial cosmic energy to everyone in detail.

It was Navaratri, the time of the year when devotees of Shakti or Devi observe fasting, perform spiritual practices, rituals and lead a virtuous life. Ancient sages described this spiritual practice and worship for a period of nine days or nights (Nava= nine; ratri= night) in order to awaken this very primordial energy.

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I always find this time of the year to be filled with positive vibrations and joy. It gives me a certain high to soak into the sight and sounds of the festivities. In 2017, on the 3rd day of Navaratri, the moment I woke up, I was experiencing enormous amount of energy flowing within me. I sat in a cross-legged position with my right palm on top of my left side. I felt my palms overflowing with incessant energy that let me surrender to the divine. I had no clue whatsoever as to what was happening with the great influx of energy coming my way.

I had heard and read about the quaint energy which resides within all of us in the form of a coiled serpent. Not even for a fleeting second it occurred to me, it could be this strange and serene energy trying to make its way up and reach its pinnacle.

From my past research and YouTube videos especially that of Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev, founder of Isha Foundation in Coimbatore, India, I was well aware of the great power and potent nature of such an energy once it is awakened. The energy when dormant or still, you do not know but exists. It is only when it moves there is so much power within you. And, when this particular energy is activated or awakened, miraculous things happen.

As the day passed, I remember going to the roof. There I stood dead upright for a good hour. It was a warm afternoon and the sun was directly shining bright above my head. I have a vivid recollection of what followed next. I could find myself slowly lowering my body to sit on the roof floor. However, I ended up lying on my back and facing the Sun. The sun did not bother me at all which is surprising because I’m usually rattled by it. At night I kept tossing and turning around in bed because of the sudden energy in my body. I was lying restless, after sometime I witnessed six chakras align themselves in the sequence of different colours in a rainbow.

I envisioned myself to be a part of nature and probably chakras were communicating with me. I saw a bizarre vision of myself as a tree standing tall atop a pretty huge hill. Autumn came by shedding my leaves and I was barren with dry leaves that turned into fossil.

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I felt a certain energy creeping up my spine and after several hours of excruciating pain, I saw the hill I stood on, turned into a snow-capped mountain. The sun shone and took me in its arms which radiated divine love.

I forgot all the pain and was in bliss. I wanted to share this sublime experience with my parents. While I descended the stairs to reach my parent’s room, I felt my feet weren’t on the ground and I was flying.

However, to my utter dismay my parents, my father particularly, was skeptical to see me in that state. And when my mother noticed dad’s face brighten up I ran my hands across his cheeks to express this divine love I was basked in, she thought it may be one of my bipolar attacks.

I was rushed to the hospital at midnight. A resident psychiatrist was asked to see me. Mom had already narrated all that had happened back home. The doctor referred to the old records while trying to convince my parents this incident; this was nothing but a highly elated episode of mania.

I pitied her and chose not tell her of the cosmic encounter and before I knew, they admitted me in the hospital.

Once inside the ward, I told the doctor I don’t doubt her credentials but there are certain things which the modern medical science have no answers to. She then gave me a dose of sedatives and I slept.

Thinking back I am always enraged whenever I am reminded of the hospital. I’m sure there are many people who went through similar experiences that landed them in hospital thinking they are mental.

To most it seems absurd, our own people criticise us and don’t know about these occurrences. Sedatives or other allopathic medication is not an answer and solution to it. This is not a problem, it is real and beautiful to experience the divine love. It’s a whole new dimension, we just need proper guidance to sail across or tackle our way inside it.

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AYUSHMA PANDEY

NEPAL

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